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Hortiscope

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By: Medi Mike Boris
@medicinal_mike
Libra
You are the life of any circle but this week, someone’s pulling you away before the joint is gone. Think of it as a much-needed time to relax.
Aries
You are the king of the garden this week and popping those seeds in the ground like a horse. You want to hook up all your friends but secure your plot of land first.
Taurus
You are a connoisseur of the highest quality buds. Schwag will only bore you. This week the fire is on the way so maybe grab a new pipe.
Gemini
The party is about to begin! Except this time, you don’t feel much like going. There is nothing wrong with taking care of “head” first. Someone may choose to join your party of one instead.
Cancer
You commit sin this week by using the pipe as a microphone and stalling the next hit. No worries because everyone loves the story so keep on talking.
Leo
They are all trying to take your weed away this week! Don’t give anything to anybody you aren’t comfortable with. Intentions are tainted!
Virgo
You just smoked a stinky seed from someone trying to impress you. This is not the week to hold back! Let Sancho know that lazy joint won’t cut it in this circle.
Scorpio
Once in a lifetime, the cannaverse sees fit to give you the perfect smoking companion. This is your time so get dressed, slather on some patchouli, and get out there!
Sagitarrius
You don’t know how to do just a little dab. Except, this week your smoking someone else’s stash! You are going to hurt their feelings because that was the last dab!
Capricorn
You are going out of your way to alphabetize your strain collection. Life, loves organization but isn’t there something else you’re supposed to be doing?
Aquarius
You’re wondering if this weed you found is good enough to smoke. Well take your time and make sure the smoke is the highest quality because you deserve nothing but the best. The joint wants you to smoke it just as bad as you want to light it. Probably the best joint in the world…just sayin’.
Pisces
You are in the mood to eat a medicated brownie and looking at the size of it, you will need a friend. Nothing better than having someone to enjoy the finer things with.