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Thoughts On Self Love

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By Tiffany Shakib, MA Psychology
Whatever you are experiencing, whatever your problems may be, there are other people who have experienced these problems too, and felt your feelings. Your feelings, thoughts, fears, shames, and self-judgements are not yours alone, they are not alien, strange, weird, or different. Change your thoughts of exclusion, into thoughts of inclusion of others. What you are experiencing is normal and okay. Other people experience these thoughts, feelings, and problems and there is a way out of them, there is a better way of life for you.
When you begin to feel mentally, emotionally, or spiritually excluded, or different as if “I am the only one experiencing this” you are closing the door to self love. Self love is expansive and inclusive of others. To split off mentally and feel “I am the only one feeling…” will feed many negative egoic tendencies and cause the mind to turn molehills into mountains. The mind loves to exaggerate, separate. This exaggeration will cut you off from yourself, from others, from inner peace, and from healing.
One way to not feel so alone in your thoughts, feelings, and problems is to open up to other people. Old friends, new friends, in 12 step programs, in support groups. Being involved with people often and intimately is key.
Another way is by reading the stories and autobiographies of others who have had similar life circumstances or similar personalities. Through their stories you can begin to realize that you have much in common with other people, and that others have survived and thrived and been happy despite blocks and problems.
It may also be helpful to see what myths, fairy tales, or fables are similar to you and your life events. These stories are based on archetypical energies which are a collective source shared by all people across countries and time periods. Your problems, shameful feelings, and self judgments are not unique; they are normal and you can transcend, you can release them and experience self love, self contentment, and then, happiness.
 
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