By: Erinn Kovar
Instagram: @erinnyvonne
The antiquated art of a perfectly manicured Myspace selfie and the evolution of the front-facing smartphone camera have aided in building a self-confidence I have lacked since my nose grew to big for my face, since my crush in seventh grade told me I had a mustache, and since someone commented nasty things about my body in my Myspace Honesty Box.
“Selfie culture” has created an influx of self-acceptance on several fronts. Documentation of individuality through seemingly frivolous photos puts the subject behind the lens as well as in front of it allowing them to be both artist and masterpiece.
I can’t pinpoint a specific time I took up an interest in myself and my body and appearance. I spent the majority of my adolescence as a choir and theatre nerd preferring stage makeup and show tunes to real makeup and fashion. It wasn’t until I got in touch with my sexuality, hopped off the theater wagon, and had to overcome separation anxiety to make friends at college that I really even began to explore myself through self-documentation.
Maybe it was after I first had sex, maybe it was when I started running every day (lol), maybe it was when I realized societal beauty standards don’t hold up for everyone that I began to take an interest in my body. I have been shaped by a mother who loves to feel good about her appearance at every moment of the day and a father who was upset when I first began shaving my legs. Conflicting opinions that inevitably played part in their divorce also left me feeling conflicted on a personal level. Whatever the reason, selfies are unapologetically and unconditionally therapeutic for me.
I am currently perfecting the art of the self-timed photo so that in addition to knowing that the left side of my face, tilted slightly upward is my best angle since I broke my jaw in a bike accident, I can know how to cleverly disguise my belly after I inhaled a massive burrito or the fact that my hands are too small for my body. The idea that you can alter the way you look by adjusting lighting and angles without physically transforming your body is a really intriguing concept. Does this automatically qualify me as a narcissist?
Many haters like to cite articles that they claim expose some correlation between narcissism and selfie-obsession, like this popular Facebook feed-clogging Huffington Post article that discusses the links between men who post selfies to narcissism and psychopathy (you know, that one you subtweeted at your ex).
I am a cis-gender woman so, perhaps this article means I am exempt from this psychological study and consequently excuses me from having higher-than-average narcissism and psychopathy levels. But then again, maybe it doesn’t and maybe that’s ok.
The haters who use this article as their firearm in killing your self-esteem high also clearly did not read on to note that an “unrealistically large number of friends” is more heavily correlated with narcissism, so back off my self-riding dick! I only have 700 Instagram followers.
This article citing a study by Brigham Young University suggests quite the opposite, however (shocker that it’s the Mormons, I know). The study actually associated selfie-takers with characteristics other than narcissism, so chill before you come at me for being self-obsessed. According to the study, the three main categories of humans associated with this sinful medium of self portraiture are “communicators, autobiographers, and self-publicists.”
I am my own best friend and promoter. I know myself better than I know anyone else and I think I have overcome a lot of difficult obstacles to become a pretty spectacular person and that my appearance is part of that success. Does that make me narcissistic? Well, according to Brigham Young University it just makes me an excellent communicator and self-publicist.
Of course, if you have some of the other traits of narcissism, you might find yourself taking the appropriate amount of slack from critics of your eighth selfie in 4 days. This infographic from LifeHacker notes that although there is no known direct correlation between selfies and narcissism, it can perpetuate narcissistic and “dangerous” behavior.
Sure, body dysmorphia and depression exist on a real life plane that I have encountered myself and can be perpetuated by the internet and cowards who hide behind the comments section, but perhaps this means that selfies have to come from a place of basic self-awareness. The awareness that continually looking at the bump on my nose that I wanted to have removed at age 11 is bringing me closer to really loving it. Acceptance through exposure.
The modern flow of selfies within the borders of the internet realm has allowed people to cultivate and share their individual and unique identities. It has perpetuated the body positivity movement, it has allowed people, especially women and intersectional and queer and trans identified, to experience more visibility.
The inner machinations of the internet have created problems that can oftentimes make life more difficult, but feeling good about yourself enough to take photos and document that feeling is something incredibly beautiful that should not be met with criticism. Everyone is not always going to like you, but if you like yourself and do things that make you happy and treat others well then who the fuck cares if you’re a narcissist?
