By Tiffany Shakib
tiffanyshakib.com
Managing people who we find difficult, be they co-workers, family, or even friends can be a troublesome topic for many people. There are a lot of ways to handle interactions with others that can be bothersome or even painful. The technique or manner that one uses can depend on the situation, the personality of the individual who is being bothered, and the personality of the offenders. However, in general there are some techniques that can alleviate the stress of these types of situations.
Assume that everything is occurring for your own good, and that nothing is against you.
Sometimes we hold an unconscious position that ‘this person is against me or out to get me.’ Although the coworker, friend, or family member may have a totally different world view or idea about how things should be done, that does not mean they are necessarily against you. Simply holding this attitude may free up the space within you to hold more tolerance for the situation or individual. Sometimes, enough space may open up for you to hold a more loving position for that person. Or, your unconscious antagonistic position may be causing the other person to react more intensely toward you, and simply releasing this attitude, may cause their fight with you to desist.
Release the perceived need you have for that person to be a certain way.
Sometimes we are angry at another because we are holding an expectation about the way that person Should be or how they Should make you feel. You have an opportunity to gain a lot of freedom and control in your life if you do not have expectations from people in this way. And once you are able to fulfill your own needs, be they spiritual or emotional, then your need for others to act in specific ways may lessen, or disappear.
Connect with your own natural happiness.
The last one may be a little cliché but it is true. If you can uncover your own natural happiness and self fulfilment then the actions of others become very far away and irrelevant for you, because you feel happy nonetheless. People can connect with their own inner sense of happiness or well-being in different ways. Meditation, exercise, a favorite hobby. The point is, that once you discover your own natural and autonomous ability to fulfill yourself, and experience happiness and freedom through your own natural self, your dependency on the actions of others decreases or disappears.
