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Hortiscope

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By: Medi Mike Boris
@medicinal_mike
Libra
Something about the way the smoke flowing over your face when you exhale is creating weird arousal in the circle this week. Unless you want an awkward attraction turn, your sexy down to a 6 and flirt less.
Aries
This week you can’t smoke enough Indica to keep you down. There’s a Sativa fire in you, and your insides are telling you this isn’t the week for couchlock. So embrace that inner spark and get your butt out there.
Taurus
This week you’ll experience what I call marijuana magnetism. You will feel alone until you pull out your bag of yummy buds. All of a sudden you will notice people uncontrollably drawn to you as if by some mysterious force. Yay friends!
Gemini
Isn’t the canna-verse awesome when it sends you exactly what you need. Your time in the garden has been blessed by luck and a good friend to help. Keep positive energy flowing out to keep it coming in.
Cancer
You are such an amazingly nice and kind person…usually. This week you have fight in you so you are pushing that charm aside. You have a friend in need and the activist in you is fired up! Help is on the way!
Leo
OMG! Everyone seems to be giving you their version of the world’s saddest story and how they will do better next time. This is totally killing your buzz! When you control the joint you can pick your circle. Time to surround yourself with smiles instead of sobs.
Virgo
Are you just feeling paranoid or are they really staring at you?! Even better, you are starting to like it! Stare back next time you pass that joint and do it for just a smidge too long if you want to see results. Love is in the air.
Scorpio
You can take a big lung of feelings and hold it in longer than anyone. Someone from an old smoke circle is coming back to tell you how much they miss your weed. You can let them back in the rotation or exhale all your feelings in their face and breathe again.
Sagittarius
You have a big mouth and that’s only good when sealing a blunt! This week you are going to hurt someone’s feelings thinking you are funny. Really, you’re being lame and hurting those around you. Be nicer let someone else have the punchline.
Capricorn
Whoa, maaaaan! You were supposed to be at work… like yesterday! You need to take a day off of fun and focus on your job. It’s only cool to hang out at the mall all day if you work there. Get your focus back.
Aquarius
There is nothing worse than watching someone slowly wreck a garden. At least that’s what we are all saying watching you destroy yours. No matter how mad life makes you, don’t take it out on the poor growing buds. They didn’t do it.
Pisces
Someone passed you a secret instead of a joint this week and you don’t know what to do with it. Secrets, like joints, are most fun when they are passed. If they didn’t want anyone else puffing on this secret, they shouldn’t have sent it in the circle.